How to Plan a Wedding WITHOUT a Wedding Planner
Planning a wedding without a wedding planner can feel overwhelming, especially when you're transforming a backyard into a wedding venue. We planned our entire wedding ourselves, and while there were definitely moments of stress, it was also one of the most rewarding projects we've ever done together.
If you're considering a DIY wedding, this guide includes the exact categories we used to stay organized, plus a master checklist you can customize for your own day.
Our Wedding at a Glance
📸: @kdorianphoto
Wedding Date: Mar 28, 2026
Guest Count: 60 + Vendors (we wanted them to eat/enjoy if possible)
Venue: Backyard of a family home in La Jolla
Wedding Style: CHILLEVATED :) (A term coined by my husband that essentially brings in our desire to have calm but elevated and elegant vibes. The overall intention was to bring joy and have fun!)
Budget: $10-15,000 (crazy, I know, but when you have a budget, you have a budget and it’s important to stick to it!)
Top Priorities: Have fun, keep it flowing, to be present
Why We Chose Not to Hire a Wedding Planner: in a nutshell, it was not within our budget. I also realized that I didn’t want to be told what NOT to do. For my full thoughts on this, check out my complete guide on Youtube (see time stamp: 02:56 for all the tea).
Step 1: Where to begin…
When you and your fiancé first sit together to brainstorm, keep these things in mind:
Budget: I would recommend you think about your budget regardless of if the two of you are the only ones paying for it. When we sat down, we had been offered help from family members which was so kind, however we wanted to be able to throw our wedding ourselves. We also felt like with accepting help, we may have to do things a certain way because we wouldn’t be the only ones throwing the wedding. So whether or not you are receiving financial help or it’s part of your family culture to have parents pay for some or all of your wedding, determine what that budget is and try to determine what you would want if you and your fiance were the only ones paying.
Another strategy we started to play with was thinking about what we would want if we had an unlimited amount of funds for the wedding. It sounds like nonsense but it actually was quite helpful to consider ALL the things we could do if we had a million dollar wedding. It helped us weed out things we definitely wouldn’t want no matter how much money we could spend. Our intention for the entire wedding was for it to be fun and filled with the things we love that keep us present.
Guest count: Once you know the budget you're likely working with, you can start to get an idea of how many people you want to have at your wedding. My best advice is to make a list where you brain dump every possible person you would possibly invite. Determine what seems feasible with your budget. Keep an open mind here because this number could change if you find a venue that has some restrictions. That’s what happened to us, and it worked out to be such a blessing because our wedding of about 65 people was the perfect amount to keep it intimate and help us stay present.
WHEN. When would you like to get married? For some, this is a huge deal. For others (like a chill guy, Marc, and a school based SLP, Me) this might be based on vacation days, like spring break 😉. If you have a season that you want to get married, be sure to consider that around the same time you’re thinking of your budget because depending on your venue and vendors, prices might be different. This is another area to stay open, sometimes what you think is ideal for you doesn’t workout or changes based on your initial brain dumps and that’s okay!
My first vision board with Pinterest pictures for inspo ☺️ scroll down to see how these transformed over the course of planning!
4. What’s your style/vibe? KEEP AN OPEN MIND WITH THIS. Our entire vibe was not solidified until two months before our wedding. I was definitely a type b-c bride, okay?! It was really fun to let the things that fell into place, naturally, like our venue, date, dress, and Marc’s tux, dictate things like colors, style, and decor. When I first started scoping out ideas on pinterest in May of 2025, my vibe was full of wild flowers and a huge variety of colors. You can see how much that evolved when I show you my very first wedding vision board to my very last (or even peep pictures of our actual wedding to see the final evolution … WILD!). Probably one of the most fun parts of planning on our own was watching this style evolve without the suggestions of a wedding planner because we got to make it 100% how we wanted.
5. What must you have?! I think this was one of our first strategies when thinking about our wedding…. The non-negotiables. I’ll just list what we wrote down on page one of our wedding planning book: dancing, good food, nature, FUN. Once we wrote those things down we started thinking about when, where, how big, etc.
6. Are you willing to DIY? Listen, I know it’s not for everyone. I didn’t think I was much of a DIY girlie until I planned our wedding. Now I’m inspired to do way more on my own rather than pay for a service, lol. BUT everyone’s interests and desires to DIY are different. I knew we could do a lot on our own and one of the first things I put on our DIY list was the flower arrangements. For a brief moment we also considered going sans DJ and doing a spotify playlist, AND, because my fiance is a brilliant artist and loves learning new things, we were close to having handmade ceramic flower vessels. However, due to a broken kiln at pottery class and poor timing, we found amazon to come in clutch for our bud vases. Sometimes DIY looks like ordering in bulk and that’s okay (if it’s within the budget). The thing about putting your money into the day and not into a wedding planner is that if there are areas you’d rather pay more for a service, like flowers, a DJ, food, etc., then you have more to work with.
The second vision board - the colors began changing here :)
The final vision board. I made this about 2-3 months before our wedding.
Our ACTUAL Wedding Board 😍
Step 2: Get Organized
Choose one place to manage EVERYTHING but stay open to changing this up as you go. For example I had a wedding planning book, and that was helpful to get started, but I ultimately decided on a spreadsheet with tabs to keep track of everything and easily brain dump in whenever I needed to. About two months before our wedding I also began keeping a running list of to-dos in my notes app on my iPhone and in the final weeks before the wedding had a notebook with daily to do’s as well. This was my way to keep track. It doesn’t mean it works for everyone, but I found google spreadsheets to be the most helpful. I remember looking at Marc around mid-February and saying “gosh this is all a wedding planner would have done” LOL. And it’s true! And it’s now my gift to you, feel free to create your own spreadsheet with my template (linked below).
Find out more details about how I stayed organized with this spreadsheet and our wedding website in this video (timestamps included!) where I’m giving all the details (including my unfiltered thoughts) on our timeline, organization, tips and wedding planning hacks, as well as how we tracked things like our vendors, budget, guest list, and rentals
The wedding planning book I used
Another option I would consider
Step 3: Venue Checklist
Most traditional wedding venues, at least in California, require a wedding planner. Whether or not you’re planning your wedding at a venue or in a backyard, it’s helpful to consider logistics to help the day flow. With one of our non-negotiables being that our guests have a fun time, it was important for Marc and I to be intentional about the flow of our wedding.
Things to Consider: Ceremony Space
Ceremony backdrop - we new our backdrop would include nature, but it wasn’t until about 6 weeks before the wedding that we decided to keep it simple and not bring anything in to enhance the trees and greenery. I’m so glad we went this route - it saved money but also helped us stand out in the pictures.
Aisle setup & Guest seating- do you want traditional seating? Floral arrangements along the aisle? Will you have a flip where the chairs from the ceremony get moved to the reception area? We ended up have a standing ceremony which was the best. Our first reason being we didn’t want to order more chairs than needed, but we also didn’t want to ask our family to help with a flip since we didn’t have a large crew of hired servers. If you are doing a brief (no longer than 20 minute) ceremony, I highly recommend this! We loved how it worked out. It helped keep the energy chill and fun. It worked out better than expected when our guests stood in a way that created a loving circle around our ceremony space so we got to see each of their faces as we walked up and down the aisle. We did have chairs up near the altar area so guests who couldn’t stand for long would be able to sit. If you choose to have guests sitting, think about how traditional you want to be before hand so any coordinators/family members can help guests find seats if that’s important to you. *Have reserved seating signs ready if you need them.
Sound system- consider where your sound source will be and if you need an extra PA system rented if your DJ is set up far away from the ceremony space. A MONEY SAVER: try and place your DJ near the ceremony so they can provide your ceremony music and be set up for the reception at the same time. Some DJs have a separate sound system for ceremonies so that could be worth asking as well. It can be easier to have all the “sound related equipment” come with the DJ rather than have separate things rented so you don’t have to think about what goes where at the end of the night.
Microphone - IF you have a DJ, ask if he can mic your officiant and the groom. Don’t let him mic up the bride, lol. Mine was kind enough to inform me that I wouldn’t get a mic and that our officiant (who is now my father in law ❤️) would share his mic with me. If your DJ will not be providing mics, definitely consider renting lavalier mics with a PA system so your guests can hear your officiant and the two of you during your vows. I was in a wedding where nobody was mic’d and although it was a smaller, backyard wedding, nobody beyond the first two rows of seats could hear 😕.
Shade options- This is important, especially if you’re having an outdoor ceremony that will be longer than 10 minutes, lol. I know it’s hard to control this which is another reason to be intentional about your ceremony length.
📸: @kdorianphoto
Welcome sign - EVERY GOOD PARTY HAS A SIGN! Actually I didn’t even think about a welcome sign until two months before our wedding. But now I’m making sure every party has a sign because there’s something so sweet about seeing that sign as you walk into a wedding and reflecting on why you’re there. With about 8 weeks to go, I decided to just keep it simple with all the decor and signage. I ended up just using our invitation graphic and making it into a welcome sign to tie our whole vibe together.
More on our vibe at 26:00 in this youtube video.
Reception Space
For this I feel like a checklist is the best way to help you because there’s a lot of variability from reception to reception.
📸: @kdorianphoto
Measurements - measure your space
Dining tables/Chairs - what will fit better in your space? For me it was about fit AND aesthetic.
Dance floor - where will it be, do you need to rent one?
Lighting - is it sufficient or do you need to rent/order any excess lighting?
Where are the power sources? Will they be sufficient for your sound, lighting, etc. ? Will you need extension cords, generators, etc.?
Restrooms - are they easy to find? Will they need signs? Are there enough or do you need to find some fancy rental options? Yes. That’s a thing.
Trash/recycling stations - you can order disposable options on amazon. Like these 🙂
Are there bugs? You can find bug zappers or traps to install ahead of time if possible.
Heaters - some people get chilly when the sun sets
Do you have a weather back up plan? This can be frustrating to think about at first but it’s realistic and very helpful to have a plan. My best advice here, let go of what you think of as a “perfect wedding” before coming up with this plan. I kept reminding myself that no matter what it was going to be fun and full of love because it was about Marc and me. That helped. It didn’t stop me from checking the weather every day in March because I was ready to order tents if need be. Gratitude for a random heat wave that brought an early end to winter in Southern California.
Other things to keep in mind for guest comfort
Restroom plan
Portable restroom rentals if needed
Hand soap
Towels
Water station
Fans or heaters
Sunscreen
Blankets (seasonal)
Step 4: Let’s Talk Vendors
Not every wedding needs every vendor. For ours, being a backyard wedding, here’s what we needed. For never having planned a wedding before, I’m pretty proud to say that everyone we hired, we were so happy with and couldn’t imagine doing it without. And we didn’t feel like we missed out on anything.
Coordinator - we asked two family friends, who we trust, to be our day of coordinators. Between my sister, AKA the MOH, and sweet Delaney and Mara, everything was handled so well.
Photographer - very important to us
DJ - we initially thought we’d do a spotify playlist but it worked out so much better to have DJ Jerry and DJ Johnny there to do all the music and MC-ing from the ceremony to the end of the night.
Caterer - I have a lot of tea about our search for a caterer in the youtube video.
Servers (they came with our caterer but were on our list to have in case the caterer didn’t bring their own)
Bartender - we originally planned to just have wine and beer. It turned out that my super creative and KIND sister had created some personalized cocktails for us and gifted us all the ingredients to have a not so dry wedding hehehe. She also helped us hire the bartender who did a fantastic job!
Rental Company - we used Platinum rentals and they were fantastic and so easy to work with.
Valet - our venue (aka the house) is in a neighborhood where street parking is very limited so this was necessary for us. Honestly it added such a fun and elevated touch.
We were so happy with all of these sweet people who helped make our wedding possible and so so fun! If you’re looking for any vendors in the southern California area, please consider any or all of them! Find a list of our Vendors at the end of this post for all of your SoCal event needs 😉
Other things you might consider for your wedding that we went without:
Videographer - We did end up having camcorders for our guests to get their own “home video” style footage of our wedding! *More on that below
Content creator
Alcohol supplier
Dessert provider
Cake baker
Coffee cart
Live musician
Hair stylist
Makeup artist
Florist
Photo Booth
📸: @kdorianphoto
One fun thing we did and included a sign for was the camcorder table. We bought three inexpensive camcorders off amazon for our guests to take videos of our reception so we could see things through their eyes. It was the perfect way to capture the whole day on film and rewatch it with all the nostalgia that a camcorder gives to us 90’s babies.
We also created a shared photo drive through Photo Circle for guests to upload photos and videos which was so helpful!
Step 5: Rentals Checklist
This category is often underestimated. I must have checked over our rental list thousands of times. I even read through it with my mom and Marc and couple of times each.
Furniture (to consider)
Guest tables - what shape & size would work best for your reception space?
Cocktail tables
Chairs - will you need double for a sitting ceremony or will you have a room flip?
Sweetheart table - I almost forgot to order this … lol
Dessert table - is it necessary?
Gift table
Bar tables
Table linens
Dining
Dinner plates
Salad plates
Dessert plates
Chargers - not necessary if your vibe is more simple
Napkins
Water glasses
Wine glasses
Cocktail glasses
Cocktail napkins
Champagne flutes
Flatware
Serving
Chafing dishes (if they don’t come with your caterer)
Serving utensils (if they don’t come with your caterer)
Beverage dispensers - I ordered pitchers from amazon that were perfect to keep things elegant and minimal
Ice tubs (if they don’t come with your bartender)
Coolers (if they don’t come with your bartender)
Cake stand
Cake cutting set
Shelter
Tent
Umbrellas
Heaters
Fans
Step 6: Floral Checklist
📸: @kdorianphoto
I did my own flowers and I’m so proud of me and thankful to our entire family for this! I didn’t consider a florist for a second because I knew that between my mom, Marc, and myself, I would be able to pull off our florals. First off, for us, less is more. I was eager to highlight the beautiful home we got married in and keep our flowers elegant but simple. Want more details on all of this? Find it here (see timestamp to go directly to it).
Remember, as with all the lists I’m sharing, this is a starting point. You don’t necessarily need all these things, they’re just to consider. We only had 6 of the things listed below and we loved how it turned out.
Personal Flowers
Bridal bouquet
Bridesmaid bouquets
Groom boutonniere
Groomsmen boutonnieres
Parent flowers
Flower girl petals
📸: @kdorianphoto
📸: @kdorianphoto
Ceremony Flowers
Arch flowers
Aisle flowers
Welcome sign florals
Reception Flowers
Centerpieces
Bud vases
Bar flowers
Cake flowers
Sweetheart table flowers
Pictures of flowers
Step 7: Decor Checklist
Signage
Welcome sign
Seating chart
Bar menu
Food menus
Guest Itinerary
Guest book sign
Directional signs
Huge HACK - you can do so much of the signage, table numbers, place cards, etc. on Canva and either print it through them or same day print at walgreens, CVS, or Fedex!
If you’d like to see our wedding day vlog that is made up almost entirely of camcorder footage , find that here!
Tablescape
Table numbers
Place cards
Candles
Linens
Runners
Centerpieces
Personal Touches
Guest book - what does this look like for YOU? We had our guests sign playing cards since we like to play poker. Now we have a deck of cards with sweet messages from our wedding guests and we can read it when we play a quick game of heads up Texas hold 'em.
Memory table
Polaroid station
Photo display
Custom favors
Late-night snacks
We opted to go without a Photo Booth and had a polaroid camera making it’s way around instead. Now I have a full photo album of cute pictures of us and our friends and family from the start to finish of our day!
The “guest book'“ station
Step 8: Wedding Attire Checklist
Bride
Was absolutely IN LOVE with my dress from Anthropologie 🤍
📸: @kdorianphoto
Dress - I actually did this out of order. The dress was the first thing I got accomplished and I highly recommend this because it made it so easy to have alterations done with a couple months to spare. You can find my dress shopping video with all my thoughts and details HERE.
Alterations
Shoes
Jewelry
Veil
Undergarments
Emergency kit
Groom
Suit or tux
Shoes
Tie/bow tie
Socks
Belt
Wedding Party
Dresses
Suits
Accessories
Marc went with a burgundy suit and it was PERFECT! 📸: @kdorianphoto
Step 9: Timeline Planning
This is JUST a template. I didn’t follow this completely and it’s so dependent on your own organization and flow. Try not to stress about the timing, things will get done. Just focus on what you can in each present moment.
6–12 Months Before
Venue secured
Budget finalized
Guest list drafted
Major vendors booked
3–6 Months Before
Invitations sent
Rentals reserved
Floral plan finalized
Menu selected
1–2 Months Before
Seating chart
Final headcount
Vendor confirmations
Timeline finalized
Week Of
Decor organized
Vendor payments prepared
Emergency kit packed
Weather checked
Rehearsal completed
I discuss my personal timeline in more details HERE.
Advice for Future Brides & Grooms
First, I’ll say this: I’ve stocked the entire wedding planning youtube video with some of my most helpful advice for you during the planning process so for the details, watch it here.
In a nutshell:
Don’t overshare your ideas. Keep them between you two until they are final UNLESS you want true, unfiltered, opinions. Or if you are tougher than me and won’t second guess even when people don’t like your ideas… lol.
Focus on your health and wellness. Thank goodness for snowboarding season to give Marc and I a weekly ritual of getting outside and active together. It was our time at the beginning of every week to be in nature, connect with one another, and not think about the to do list.
Be open to change, surrender, and Let Go. that’s really all I need to say. While it’s a beautiful thing to get married, the wedding itself and all the planning doesn’t have to be “that deep” meaning all the little things aren’t your WHY, I can’t believe I’m going to use this cliche but I will because it’s so true: your guests won't remember whether your napkins perfectly matched your florals. They'll remember how they felt. Our guests are still telling me how memorable the ceremony was (a huge thank you to my father in law who was our officiant) and how much fun they had the entire night. Marc and I felt so present the entire time and had so much fun watching our people connect and enjoy!
Focus on creating a day that feels like you, not a day that looks like everyone else's Pinterest board. This will help you find joy in it all. It’s all about attitude. Choose to let go and let the day unfold as it does, whether things go according to your plans or not. Maybe choose to use your “plans” as “guidelines”. Choose love. Choose joy.
Sending you so much love, joy, and peace as you plan!
- Marie
Our Vendors (Who we LOVE)
Photographer: Karlee from @kdorianphoto
DJ: Jerry Ciani from @djjerryg
Caterer: Chef Don from @private_chefd
Bartender: Adam from @themessy.bartender
Rentals: Platinum Rentals
Valet: Preferred Parking
Flowers from Inland Flower Market in San Bernardino
AND don’t forget to get my spreadsheet template so you can keep things organized!